It was 2009. November, to be exact. I was sitting at book club, sipping wine, sharing stories, laughing, discussing possibilities for our next month’s book choice. I brought up something I’d been thinking about. I suggested we adopt a family for Christmas, rather than exchanging gifts among ourselves. We agreed our gesture of gifting each other was unnecessary. After all, there were so many people with so little. It was unananomious. We would adopt a family.
I reached out to a friend, a social worker, in the Leon Country school system. I hoped she could match us with a family in need. And she did. A widowed, single-mother. Her name was Liese. She had a son, Alex, 14-years-old at the time.
Liese was disabled. Also, morbidly obese. Consequently, she was homebound. I was told she was shot during a robbery while working inside a convenience store. I was also told her husband had been killed in the line of duty when Alex was a toddler. Later, I would learn he died in prison. Liese was white. Alex was bi-racial. They lived in a small apartment building in Frenchtown run by the Lutheran Social Services of North Florida. They had been homeless a few years earlier; they were grateful to live where they were living.
Our book-club pooled funds and lavished them with clothes, food, books and gift cards to various grocery stores. We bought Alex a new bike. It was stolen before Christmas. We bought another- this time we included a chain and lock. But, it didn’t help. It, too, was stolen only a few months later. By the third bike he learned to bring it indoors, never leave it outside.
Liese and Alex lived in the heart of poverty. Crime, gangs and drugs were lurking outside the apartment door– hoping, waiting– to capture Alex. But, he faired well and was a good boy. He loved music, school and his friends. Alex played in the Leon High School Symphony and worked part-time in a local music shop. He aspired to be a musician one day. This was music to my ears. After all, my late father-in-law, Karl Kuersteiner, was Dean of the School of Music at Florida State for many years. He was also a concert violinist.
I would share stories with Alex about the kind, talented, violinist. He was hungry to learn about a successful musician. On one of our visits, he took my husband, and me, to the guitar shop where he worked. His love and passion for music was palpable. We wandered around the small shop as he pointed out his favorite instruments. Mostly, guitars.
Years would pass. There would be more Thanksgivings and Christmases. Liese was a prolific reader. I would buy books in the genre she loved -romance. Later, a Kindle, with an Amazon gift card, so she could download books. It was so hard for me to keep up with her reading pace. She wrote emails, keeping me abreast of Alex: high-school, graduation, plans. She hoped I wouldn’t forsake them when he graduated. I assured her I wouldn’t. And I never did.
I would ask different friends to help with them over the years. And many did. But some were sick of me and told me so. “They’re takers, Prissy.” Still, I kept begging. One special friend paid utilities- anonymously- for over a year. I lobbied Alex’s admission to the Florida State Music Camp the summer after graduation. He was enrolled after enough funds were collected.
You’d have thought he had a ticket around the world: Music Camp – Concert at Ruby Diamond Auditorium. Nothing so grand ever happened to Alex. Liese wrote to me and asked if I would attend his performance. After all she never left home. Alex was her caregiver from the time I knew them. He did everything for her.
When Alex scanned the dimmed audience inside Ruby Diamond and discovered my husband, and me, sitting there, for him, this cheshire grin crowded his face. It was a beautiful moment for a boy who never had anyone attend anything for him. Much less a concert at a university.
After Alex graduated from high school I suggested he try to work at Starbucks. I told him they would pay tuition for employees unable to afford college. Not to mention, it was only a few blocks from his home. He could walk, or ride his bike. He didn’t like my idea. So, my husband offered him a job. Alex declined. He wanted to pursue his music dream and teach guitar lessons. Liese supported this decision. There was nothing we could say to discourage his plan.
“A year, Alexander gets a year to chase his dream.” Liese said. I was baffled. My husband even more so. We thought he needed college, or a job. Music lessons would never get them out of poverty. But Alex began his chase: music, guitar lessons and growing up in the only world he knew–caring for his mother.
It was Thanksgiving- four months ago. I asked Gina, my sister, to ride with me to deliver a Thanksgiving meal I’d ordered from Fresh Market: Turkey, dressing, greens, and two pies. They were no longer living in the apartment I knew. The church had relocated them. I wasn’t sure where the heck I was going with the big box of food. I figured Gina could help me find the new place, and help carry the oversized box inside. This was her first time meeting them. In all the years, I somehow missed Gina in my quest for donations. I told her so on our drive over.
Alex answered the door after one knock. We hugged; he shared he was happy to see me. He pulled back and announced he was turning 22-years-old in a week. I looked up thinking how fast he grew from 14 to almost 22. He was rail thin, taller than I remembered, towering above me at 6’2″. I was wearing flats and not my usual high platform shoes. I felt so small beside him.
Alex was chatty, friendly, helpful and kind. Two of his friends sat on the sofa, playing video games, inside the dark, smoky, tiny livingroom. Liese lay stretched on a recliner, her feet propped up, swollen, enormous. She looked unwell, unkept, with bottles of prescription medications stacked in heaps next to her.
“I’m in kidney failure and this really bad staph infection.” she said. “The home health nurse says they’re sending me back to the hospital.” Her pallor confirmed that possibility.
I was unsure what to say, how to reply to such bad news. Alex stood beside me in the kitchen and said nothing after Liese’s declaration. I did what I do when I don’t know what to do…run my mouth…blabber…to everyone… about nothing. To Alex, Liese, even the strange boys on the couch. Just some Prissy nonsense, attempting to lighten the darkness inside that room. Negative garma enveloping me.
In all my years visiting, their environment never looked so bad. The only window I saw was covered with unpacked, moving boxes. No light spilled inside from the outdoors. There was only a florescent ceiling light in the small kitchen. I placed the food inside the refrigerator and saw only some half-empty bottles of ketchup and mayonaise. NO food.. Gina interruped the gibberish still spilling out of my mouth.
“Oh gosh, I forgot I have to pick up the kids.” she said. It was loud enough for everyone to hear her. “Oh, please don’t go, sit down a few minutes.” Liese said.
I scanned the room but saw no place to sit, no chairs, not even floor space. They had moved there the previous June but never unpacked. I surmised they had no place to put anything since it was half the size of their previous housing.
Alex and I hugged goodbye. I blew Liese a kiss from where we stood. “I’ll be praying, Liese.” I said.
We left and walked outside under God’s blue sky cooled by a November breeze.
When Gina and I climbed inside my new car I was embarrassed. Poverty and privledge- juxtoposed. Even as a child, it has always affected me.
“Are you out of your damn mind?” Gina asked before I slammed my car door.
“What?” I looked over.
“Good grief…they were all stoned-everyone of them, and who knows on what. Surely, you smelled pot, Prissy!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (I only see what I want- my character flaw)
Gina called my husband the minute she was out of my car, and sight. Before I could even drive home.
“Prissy has no business going over there, especially alone.” When she finished the tales of mischief, my Dale had joined her team.
“You can help them – just don’t go back over there. He repeated everything Gina told him. “Please, just send them money, or a nice gift for Christmas.”
The next day I received an email from Liese.
Dear Prissy,
I wanted to write and let you know how much I appreciated you bringing Alexander and I Thanksgiving dinner. I have felt so horrible lately dealing with my health and my finances being stretched to the limit since having to move I really didn’t feel too thankful for anything. Alex did a great job cooking the turkey and getting everything ready. I wasn’t able too eat much because I am nauseous from all the medications I am taking but I was able to eat a little turkey, mashed potatoes and the rolls you gave us. Everything was delicious! Alex went to town on the turkey and dressing and loved the mashed potatoes. He just about polished off the pumpkin pie on his own. A couple of his friends came over later that evening to play video games and they all dined happily on the leftovers.
I hope you and your family had a nice Thanksgiving. Speaking of family I enjoyed meeting your sister. I was embarrassed by the horrible mess our apartment was in. Truth to tell I have felt so bad and seem to have spent more time in the hospital lately than I have been at home unpacking boxes was one of the last things to do on my list.
It truly was wonderful of you to think of us and to do such a lovely thing. I know how busy you are during the holidays with all your family and grandkids plus it sounds as if you have been dealing with a lot yourself. I was very sorry to hear about your mother. (Also your friend.) Somehow you think your mother will always be there for you. There has been many times during the last 4 months when I have been alone in a hospital bed thinking how much I wanted to see my mother. She has been dead for 15 years but it still hurts at times. That is what really worries me about Alexander if something happens to me. For practically his whole life it has just been the two of us I know he is “grown” now but he truly doesn’t have any other family to speak of since his grandparents died.
I also know how worried you have been about Dale. He seemed so healthy and vital when we saw him. You two were always on the go. Alex was worried when I told him about Dale having spinal fusion. It sounds extremely painful. And now you said he has some kind of blood infection. I hope he is doing better now and the doctor in Jacksonville was able to figure out what was going on with his blood. I think Dale is a great guy and he was always so kind to Alex. You certainly found a keeper when you met Dale. But then I also think Dale was pretty darn lucky to meet you!
I wanted to let you know I am back in the hospital. Saturday I started to feel very weak and could hardly move. My home health nurse told me they weren’t able to reach the wound care doctor and I should go to the ER. The ER doctor said it was a good thing I came in because the bacterial infection was back in my blood and I was on the verge of going septic again. So, here I am back in my favorite place. (Not!)
They started me on a couple of new antibiotics hoping to finally eradicate the little devil and so far it seems to be working. Right now I am waiting for wound care to send me to surgery to have debridement on the wounds on my back. They are not healing and they think getting more of the necrotic tissue will help. My main concern is if they will ever find an antibiotic that will get rid of the infection. So far they have tried at least 12 different ones. Sometimes I worry they will run out of different antibiotics to try.
I have no idea when I will be able to go home. I am going to miss Alex’s birthday and I worry I will be stuck here for Christmas. It may seem silly but since Alex was born we have always been together. Even when things were at their bleakest…homeless and completely broke and it was just us two… we were always together.
There have been a lot of not so nice things that have happened to us over the years and I worry Alex won’t have too many good memories of growing up. That is one of the many reasons I will always be grateful for all of the wonderful things you have done. You really are the kindest, compassionate, most caring person I have ever met.
Well, it is almost time for the doctor to come in and let me know what is on tap for today. Unfortunately I know they won’t be telling me I can go home.
I just wanted to let you know what is going on. It may be presumptuous but I feel you and Dale are perhaps the only people here in Tallahassee we can call friends. I know Alex has lots of friends but being kids barely out of their teens they don’t have much on their minds other than girls and video games. If you get the chance I would love to here from you. You can fill me in on how Dale is doing and all of your wonderful plans for Christmas. plus I want to hear more about the new book you are writing.
Again Prissy, let me say Thank You/ You really are a special person and I am so grateful to have met you. Tell Dale I said hello! iIam in room 429 at Capital Regional so the phone number for my room is 850/325-5429.
Take care, Liese
I ordered Christmas that same day.
Dear Prissy,
The Omaha Steak boxes arrived safely. I am still in the hospital, but Alex called me this morning very excited. So many delicious goodies!! I told Alex he can cook the chicken and eat some of the potatoes and apple tarts but to save the pork chops and steaks for when (if) I get out of the hospital.Thank you guys so much. It was very thoughtful, and I know if I ever get to eat them they will be delicious. I told Alex these will be the fanciest steaks and pork chops we have ever eaten. How are things going with Dale? I hope his health is improving and you two will have a wonderful holiday season and a Merry Christmas. If I ever get out of this dang hospital I will be sending you a Christmas card. Our Christmas was looking a little bleak and I just felt all alone. Sitting in a hospital bed there is not much else to do but think…I do try to not get too depressed…but it is a little hard when I feel so alone. Just hearing from you makes me feel so much better and that I am not alone. There are people who care us about us.You really are such a remarkable woman and I appreciate everything you and Dale have done for us. Please tell Dale we said Hello! If I don’t hear from you before Christmas and I wish you a peaceful and joyous one.
Love, Liese and Alexander.
And then -the unthinkable. What we writers call the inciting incident. When everything changes. And nothing is ever the same again.
Alex killed his mother.
He brought a knife from home, snuck into the hospital after visiting hours. He stabbed her multiple times in the heart, wearing gloves and mask he stole from the supply closet. I can’t begin to make sense of the senseless. For me, a person who sees her glass half-full, three-quarters full. I now see a leak. Drip. Drip. Drip.
I’m writing this blog for two reasons. One-to purge a heart full of grief. Second- for answers.
How? Why? Did I miss the signs? Were there any signs? Are killers in our plain sight? Are these killers– the ones slipping inside schools, clubs, auditoriums– just like Alex. Unrecognizable to an ordinary person? Alex was no killer. He wasn’t. And yet, he was. I can’t accept this. No matter how much my friends and family try to convince me. They see the animal in him. They beg me to stay away from him and this situation. They have genuine fear. I understand. And for them…I will. But, I keep asking myself-what would Liese want me to do? Would she want me to reach out to her son-even though he murdered her. After all, he was the center of her entire universe. The ying. The yang. My turmoil.
This quiet, smart, creative boy grew up to kill his mother, the only family he had. It is unfathomable. Who is responsible for this travesty? Someone must be. I won’t accept it was Liese. She can’t defend herself. Then, or now. At some point the system must take responsibility for the mentally unstable beings in our society.
He was the only caregiver for his mother for all of his childhood. Yet, he kills her when she is dying.
Alex didn’t use a gun and go inside a school. Instead, he used a knife and went inside a hospital. Was it rage or was it love? Was he tired of her suffering, or tired of his? Is he the poster child for mental illness? Or something more cynical? He had no history of violence, no record, no trouble with the law. Nothing. Zip.
Six degrees of separation between us is no longer true. There is no separation. We are one phone call away from the unthinkable. There are unstable beings mingling among all of us. This boy has fallen through the cracks.
I’m an ordinary woman living an ordinary life. And I had two friends murdered. I have broken bread with two people who have killed. I’m an author and couldn’t imagine these headlines. It should make any sane person fear, wonder, question what has happened to this beautiful world.
Evil is a breath, a blink, perhaps, a smile away from us.
David Thoreau wrote-Things do not change; we change
Alex echoes those words. Things did not change; he changed
Prissy, I don’t know what to say except thank you for sharing the story. This is just tragic.
We never know how close we are or have been to witnessing or being victimized. I am sure
glad Gina went with you that day and gave you that advice.
God Bless! Betty
Thanks, Betty. Gina-Belle –she’s a keeper. And we are closer than we think. Sad to say:-(
Prissy
What a story. Desperate people do desperate things. There are no answers to why.
I know you are not looking for praise. But your compassion is amazing.
I always enjoy seeing your love for your nanny, Maybell.
I don’t know you, but knew you dad. I know where your heart came from.
Love your stories, keep up the good work.
Thank you so much for your sweet message. Mazelle is a treasure who taught us so much. The kind of ttuff you can’t learn in books or college. I am blessed.
Prissy .. how eloquently you captured this situation. Your Columbia High School teachers taught you well. You are an angel and see the good instead of bad like so many of us. I think Alex wanted to help his mom from more suffering..
Always thinking ‘half-full’ .. T. Green
Thank you so much!
Yes, I see good, sometimes to a fault. But, doesn’t it makes us happier? I wouldn’t want to go to life thinking, seeing, believing the worst in people. UGH!
No matter the out come of this beautiful story your love and compassion for people out weighs the hurt, love, and losses endured that horrible day. Your ray of hope and sunshine for all man kind pours from deep within, you are and will continue to be a great strength for all of us. Keep on keeping on. A heart of hearts.
Kedra, thanks so much for your endearing words. It means so much to me. XO
Such a touching and tragic story Prissy….never give up the gift of believing in others. The 💓 loves and forgives without reservation.
Thank you so much, Carole!
How devastating this must be to you— how unimaginable!
I am truly sorry for your pain and am writing this through my tears….
You have gone through much sorrow and disappointment in your life and have always come out “on top”— and of course, you will again.
I have been listening to Dr Christine Northrop’s video about “Empaths” and “Energy Vampires”-and am finding it interesting —maybe helpful—for myself. …
Thank you so much! I’m learning—life is a good teacher, even if a hard one.
I may have to do some of your listening. Thanks for the recommendation.
Love it enjoyed reading that great message
Thank you, John!
I started reading this blog post and I thought, how cool…. my son’s name is Alex and he went through the FSU school of music …. and then I read further. I remember seeing this story on the news and thinking “that boy must have seriously hated his mother.” But, you know, he may have very well done it out of love – to end her suffering. Only God knows and sometimes, that has to be enough. I am glad you could see the good in this family even though others could not. You are a blessing!
Thank you so much for your comment, Laurie. What a horrible twist for you to begin the story with joy, only to be shocked with reality. It sounds just like my story of them.
You said “they see the animal in him” and the follow up question is “what do you see in him”? And that insight then begs the question “what do others see in us in our best and in our worse state of minds”? Also does your personal experience of having dined with two people who have killed and two who have been killed affect how you now see what was once a beautiful world. Has the world changed or have you? I ask that question because memories of Truman Capote’s “In Cold Blood”, which was published in 1966, surfaced as I read this story. Your relationship with Alex differs wth Capote’s of his with the Clutter family. You have a unique perspective and the skills to share that view. Can this be the answer to your turmoil?
I see a boy forgotten, who grew into a man…forgotten. He was adrift, with no hope. Whose fault is that? I can’t answer…or blame. I think it may change me though. I may realize just because I WANT to see the’good’ in everyone, doesn’t mean there is good. Perhaps, I’ll look deeper, wider, dissect thoughts, actions, deeds. But then, I would become cynical and no longer me. I don’t really want to be such a person. But, like I quoted…things don’t change; we change. Can I just say…I hope I don’t change. But only time will tell. Thanks for your profound comment!
OMG what a tear jerking, moving story.
Am on the verge of writing a blog on mental illness and the huge link to gluten intolerance instigated by the mayhem in Parkland. The longest chapter in my award-winning, life-transforming book, Toxic Staple: How Gluten May Be Wrecking You Health and What You Can Do About It! is: “Neurological Dilemmas: The Mind-blowing Hazards of Gluten.”
Numerous neuro/cerebral issues are linked to gluten including depression, schizophrenia, seizures, memory issues, learning disabilities, migraines and headaches, imbalance, neuromuscular problems and much more.
Just read an article about celiac disease being linked to nearly every inflammatory disorder: gluten definitely can inflame the brain and can affect any part of the body. It’s about time they started to address the many manifestations of celiac. From where I sit there’s not much that doesn’t get better when you remove gluten and even dairy and take some steps to heal your gut and replace vitamin and mineral deficiencies.
About 30% of the population may be intolerant to gluten according to forward-thinking researchers and doctors. If you’d like more info please visit my website: http://www.toxicstaple.com. Read the incredible endorsements and discover my blog.
Prissy you are golden!
Thank you, Ann! Yes, it is a tear-jerker. And you are right-it may well be related.
Keep up your work.
WOW! What a powerful real life story! So far from the life that most of us know but so real for so many. For those of us that are Christians and believers in Christ, (and from your writings Prissy, I feel that you are) I pray & feel that Lisie experienced the love and the peace of Christ through you. I also think that Alex experienced that also but when tempted by the things of the world he made a choice to choose evil, as evil as that could be to take the life of someone & the only one that had loved him unconditionally. I am sad that Alex didn’t know Christ, maybe that could have changed his world and helped him to choose Life instead of death. Maybe he will in prison.🙏 Very sad but unfortunately it is the way of the world. I don’t mean to sound so preachy but as I read your blog today, then I read my devotions , John 14:1-16 and I found such comfort, peace and reassurance about what I read in your blog, because of my faith and knowledge that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ if we believe and live a Christian life no matter what we encounter in this life. I think that it is pretty evident what is missing in the schools and lives of families. I love your writing’s! You have a beautiful heart and soul!
Thank you so much for your comment. I’m faith driven to the core.Since Liese was homebound, Alex had no church. He learned no religion in school. I can’t know what his mother believed. But for all those children- like Alex- who grow up without any Christian teaching or belief -it seems hopeless. They are at a loss to know right from wrong. And what a loss that is. The proof is in the pudding. Violence, gangs, drugs, evil, chaos. And in this case…killing your own mother. It’s beyond belief.
Prissy this is so well written. My heart hurt when I read the end of the blog. We are in a frightening world.
Thank-you, Joan. Yes, we are in a frightening world. I fear it’s getting worse by the day. Miss you
Prissy, you cared. She and he will always remember that. I’m reading a book I think you could use: COURAGE FOR THE UNKNOWN SEASON. “If we dwell in the awfulness of our situation … learned helplessness awaits. When we rehearse our losses and pain, then we are drained of the energy we need to live. How do you build a resilient spirit? Choose life … anyway. Circumstances can rule anyone’s life. God is always beside us in trouble, identified with our suffering, but He can also make everything — even our trouble & sorrows work together for good.”
Pat, thank-you! I’m getting book today. The quote alone warrants me reading it. You are a dear to reach out to me, share this truth. Many thanks!
If you are anything you are not ordinary. You are special and beautiful.
Thank-you, Ron. Right now…I’m a mess. XO
Wow! Just wow! What a story and to think it’s true. I am at a loss for words! God Bless you Prissy and all those who pitched in to help! And so sorry it didn’t have a happy ending!
Thanks, Vi. The ending is haunting, and will be forever more. Xo
Wow Prissy this is such a horrible ending to a story that I thought would end with an amzing ending. My mouth dropped open when I read that Alex stabbed his mother to death. This is so sad & now what happens to him….he gets to spend the rest of his life in prison? I understand how you want to save these people that are unfortunate, living in proverty & virtually have nothing. I have been there a few times with kids from school that I taught but it developed into much more. A love for them that have no home life, a home without 2 parents, a homelife totally opposite of mine. Sadly a child from school that I took under my wing ended up selling my husband a stolen golf cart for $2,000 & we weren’t the only ones that got taken. He ended up in prison but is now out, living with a girl that he got pregnant. I have lost touch with him since he got out because my husband has forbiddened me to. It is hard but I had to learn I could not be his saviour.
It makes me sad that there are so many kids in this world t like Alex & wonder how does God let all of this continue. Our world is changing every day & it is only getting worse…surely Christ will come soon rather than later. Too much sin in this world!!!
It is a horrible ending. Like I said, backstory is the story. Children learn what they live. It’s a frightening world and getting worse. Alex was into video games –I can only guess what they were. But, surely, that can’t create killers. If that’s so, why are they not banned? Thank-you for your comment-it makes one think. XO
Prissy, this was not the ending that I thought you were going to write. Sorry for your loss doesn’t even convey the deep sorrow you are writing about. Alex did the unthinkable, but he also was witness to his mother’s despair and no quality of life. Did he help her in committing murder? Did he think he ended her misery or his misery? Life as we know it, in this very moment will change from minute to minute. Heartfelt sadness yes for all involved. Yes, we know grief, will know more grief and sometimes, the grief makes us in to people we would not ever think we could become.
So well said, Ann. Yes, the lessons we learn make us who we become. Thank-you!
Such a sad, yet a pretty common story. The truth may never be known. Alexander may not even know himself. God bless you for your kind heart and deeds.
Thank you, Diane.
I’m pretty sure you are right. He doesn’t know himself.
What a tragedy. It is such a shame that some people are pushed to the brink and can’t deal with it anymore. Think of what his life may have been if had a better start in life the outcome may have been the same but very unlikely. I am truly sorry for this loss of both the Mother and her son.
Thanks, Shirley!
Me too. Such a wasted life.
Prissy… that was an ending I did not see coming . So many questions but I think the one that must reverberate most is …”how can we not see mental illness before tragedy happens ? Cannot begin to fathom how sad this must be for you.
Thank you, Susie. I agree, how can we not see it? Because it remains hidden so well. Trust me, I’m pretty intuitive, too. Traumatic, to say the least!
Oh, my goodness! How horrible! I was not expecting that! I think I would want to ask him, “Why?” for some insight/closure, especially since there were no prior signs! You could send a letter. Praying this will not harden your tender heart. Keep on serving “as unto the Lord!” Colossians 3:23-25
Thanks, Jamie! If I start with a letter it will never end. I know me–so do those who love me.
It’s haunting- but I believe he doesn’t know why he did it. I pray he will discover his ‘why’ with professionals. And, I’m so NOT one.
Unfortunately even highly trained mental health professionals and law enforcement pros miss homicidal ideation. It often comes in a delusion system that is hidden. You have a lovely heart for helping.I also struggle with the unfairness of life.
Linda-thank you so much. I’m sure you’ve seen, heard, dealt with your share over the years. Not sure how you do what you do…but, I’m sure glad you do.
And you are so right–it is hidden from the trained eye, and most certainly from someone like me. I only sees the good in people. I need to shift, or correct, my vision.
Prissy, what a heartbreaking story. I am so so sorry this happened- for all involved. When we don’t have answers, all we can do is pray and know God watches over everyone of us; even if it does not seem so at certain times. 😘
You are so right…faith, prayer, and acceptance. That’s the answer to this crisis.
As one of the book group members who told you that Liese was a taker, I was very moved by your blog. I moved away from Tallahassee for a while and left the book group, so I was unaware that you had continued to help Liese and Alex. Their story is gut-wrenching. I am very impressed that you stayed involved with them because it shows the depth of your character and your willingness to put yourself into a situation that could break your heart. More of us should be like you. I, personally, lack the courage to do what you did. I’ve come to realize that if more of us took the chances you do, the world would be a better place. You did the best you could. You must be haunted by the way things turned out. While Alex killing his mother will never make sense, I hope you take solice in knowing that you did the best you could to help them.
Thank-you so much for your thoughts, words, and comment, Helena. I can’t tell you how much it means. And you were not alone in your belief–my own husband agreed. And you were both right in so many ways. The truth…I take after my daddy. He was this country-doctor who was always trying to heal the untreatable, unresponsive, and even, perhaps, the ungrateful. Yet, he was who he was; he could never be who he wasn’t. I admired him so– maybe he spilled on to me.
Our loving hearts are sometimes blinded by the unthinkable.
Well said. Thank you!
To add to my comment above, the other factor I thought of was the contagion one. Just as suicide has a contagion factor, maybe homicide does, too. Maybe the Parkland murders a few days before exerted an effect on Alex.
Judy- I believe you nailed it. Probably, all factors created a perfect storm. Or rather, a perfect, imperfect action.
Beautifully written. You described Liese and Alex so well. Had Liese, the reader, Liese the writer, had an opportunity to read your words in describing Alex, her beloved son, she would have been pleased. But of course, we know things changed. But what? So many unanswered questions. He did not have the heart of a killer. Such a tragic end. You and Dale were their guardian angels. Given their circumstances, if their lives could have been enhanced through change, you and Dale made numerous attempts to provide that opportunity. You have a beautiful spirit, and enormous heart for others. Your generosity knows no end. Seeing the glass half full is a gift. As difficult as it may have been, thank-you for sharing your thoughts my friend.
Thank-you, Linda, for your gracious words. You know this story, the family, well.
I must accept there are things in this life one can’t understand. This won’t be the first for me. And, I’m certain, it won’t be the last. Thank-you for your giving spirit and non-judgemental heart. XO
You did right. Poverty can cause bad decisions and ending suffering so emotional. We do what we can to help and results not always the best. Do hope Dales health better and you both happy.
Laura, thank you so much. Difficult time, to say the least…
We often talk about you and always with fondness. Hope all is well in your life. And yes, Dale is better. We are happy. XO
Well my dear sweet Prissy,
I read this story last night before I went to bed. Probably not a good idea. This is the second tragic story I have heard about where children, yes children have spent much of their time playing those horrible video games. In my heart I feel they are to graphic and violent and enhance bad stimulation to all. Obviously I am not a fan-but enough of that I will save that soap box speech for another day.
This morning as I was drinking my hot tea and staring out my kitchen window, so many thoughts raced through my mind and my heart. I reflected on quotes from your first book regarding the caterpillar. I guess not all caterpillars can become a butterfly but a moth that flys to close to the light. At that I prayed for Lissy, I prayed that Alex hated his Mom’s illness and not his Mom. I thought of all the tragic stories in the Bible and how love , no God’s Love and peace passes all understanding AND then at that very moment the MOST EXTRAORDINARY thing happen, OH the most BEAUTIFULL God Moment occurred…..a ruby red thoart hummingbird appeared a my feeder, the frist one of the season, yes a new spring. He bounced around from plastic flower to see which had the sweetest necture, but naturally ( no pun intended) the supply was all from the same reservoir. It was funny he finally settled on one. Gorgeous is the only way to describe this moment. God was in my presence. The feeling that stirred my soul is Yes, love and kindness will prevail all we need are more “Prissy’s” in the world to help direct our paths!!!
So grateful for you 😘😘😘
Cricket
Dear Cricket-Thank you! You are too kind…. beautiful to the soul. YOur message meant so much! When I read it I waited to respond, wanting to think about what you wrote- dissect your thoughts and words. And then, as life has it, I never came back to thank you. Your God moment, or God wink, as I like to call it, was so inspiring. Then, last night, I was so happy to see where it happened. Thank you for showing me. I loved being in your home– lavished with Easter happiness. Everything was perfect, just like you. I hold you very dear to my heart. XOXO